Halloween

Last night at youth group we played clue. not 'murder mystery' clue like you might see in a movie. Not 'how to host a murder' clue like you might buy in a dinner party box. More like the board game of clue, supersized into a run around the church at night kind of game.

Halloween is a difficult evening as a teenager and as a youth minister. I've led evenings and afternoon events where we collect canned goods, but I'm vehemently opposed to canceling youth group in order to let kids live into indecisions which could possibly turn into bad decisions on an evening of masks, unsupervised activity, and darkness. Instead. I'm really interested in creating an exciting alternative that allows teens to make a positive choice about being together. So last year I created a game for our students that was a great success, this year we repeated it with similar success.

I don't like to repeat activities in identical form, but occasionally there are situations that warrant a total repeat: the strange quad cities halloween traditions being one (last year all kids in bettendorf were trick or treating, this year it was all davenport kids). this year and last year were almost identical replicas of each other. many different kids, slightly different feel, still lots of scaring, and still a lot of fun.

Here's how my game works. First, I chose 8 suspects (sponge bob, our senior pastor, a cartoon bat...), 8 weapons (hymnals, guitar strings, sharp pencils...), and 16 locations in our church (library, kitchen, my office...) to make my own board game about who smashed the pumpkin that can be played by small groups all over the church at the same time. Then I made each of them into cards about 3" by 3" and a simple score card. Then I placed a single candle in each of the rooms, got a bunch of kids together, grouped them into small groups, and had them play clue. Essentially on their turn, one person chose a room, the group traveled there, they made an accusation, then they rolled a dice to determine the next person to take a turn.

To make the game a little more fun, we also had two people dressed in costume running around the church scaring and tagging groups as they traveled. once tagged groups reported to me in the fellowship hall where they had to preform a stunt in order to return to the game. add in some black lights, dark rooms, and some silliness and you have a winner of an evening.

We won't likely repeat this activity next year, there's no reason to tire it out. but we began the evening with a quick conversation about reformations (obviously as Lutheran we're building off of the reformation day celebrated the same day). Unfortunately the mixture of costumes and the anticipation of the evening meant that there was little interest in the conversation and tons of chatter. We also didn't really have an ice breaker, so our new students didn't have a chance to get comfortable and get to know each other. An ice breaker would have helped calm the evening and allow a decent conversation as well... so next time... definitely an ice breaker!

Bright as a Black Light

Last night at youth group we lit up the youth room with black lights to show how God sees the world. it was brilliant! the evening schedule could have been a little tighter, but overall it was a memorable evening.

To begin with this evening took some major setup. In our large youth room we (one of my favorite pastors - Katy and I) installed black lights in the ceiling of the room. Since we have a hanging tile ceiling, the simple way was just to pull an extension cord up one wall and into the empty space above the ceiling. Then we attached a power strip and from the center of the room fanned out a few smaller extension cords, which then attached to the lights. I drilled a few holes in the ceiling tiles and bolted in the lights. It's simple and crude, but effective. The lights turn on when we plug in the extension cord, which is conveniently hidden by a pipe along one wall, and all the cords are hidden from view, just leaving the fixtures. (We also have Japanese lanterns hung in the room using this same method).

For our space we used 6 black lights, which provided plenty of light. I thought that black lights would be best purchased from a Halloween store and had been waiting just for this time of year to do this event, but as it turns out, Walmart sells them much cheaper and year round. For only $10 a light, the whole room redecoration, plus extension cords cost less than $80! The key to black lights is to make sure they are centered in the room so that the light is between people and reduces shadows. I also spent the afternoon texting some students to wear neon colors, which they thought was just a riot because they had no idea about the black lights.

As we began our evening I remember kids coming in just a tad later than usual. At 6:30 when we began I think there were just a handful of kids dotting the carpet monster, but at 6:40 there was a mass of students like normal. (Perhaps it was the green bay game keeping people glued to TV.) The first 10 minutes is always a gathering time, exactly for this reason. It gives our students a chance to settle in, our leaders a chance to space themselves out around the room and engage students, and it gives us all an opportunity to greet students who walk in late without interrupting a game. During this time I like to throw around questions to students. Sometimes I'll just stand in the middle of the room and announce questions, inviting kids to share their answers with neighbors. Sometimes I like to use an ice breaker ball.

Some students had already noticed the black light fixtures by 6:40, so at 6:40 as I overview-ed the schedule I turned off the lights and turned on the black lights. Tons of energy from these lights. Students loved them! Of course, there's just something about black lights.

Like usual, we then left the youth head quarters and stepped into the fellowship hall to play a game called the bus game. Not knowing the size of our group each night, I'm always left wondering how much to setup ahead of time. This game for instance just uses chairs, one per person setup in rows like you're riding on a bus. But if I setup too many chairs, it seems disappointing. too few chairs and I'm still scrambling. So this week I didn't setup at all. We walked into the fellowship hall and I had instructed each student to grab a chair and make rows facing the same direction. This strategy backfired completely! as soon as kids came in they made two long rows and it didn't matter how much I explained, they were committed to long rows... whatever. it worked out fine then just to have kids spin their chairs 90 degrees and suddenly everyone faced the correct direction.

I tweaked the rules to the bus game for this evening by making two buses! super fun! each bus had 14 rows of chairs (each row just a row of two chairs). And I made the two buses face opposite directions so that it was clear that there were two buses. The game is a basic game of tag, but like elbow tag, students scoot into the chairs, pushing the occupants over one seat and then freeing a person to run and continue to be chased. For the two bus variety, I kept runners at the same bus, so that there was always two people running around each bus, to keep it less confusing. Then we made up three rules, which I would call out at random times, to keep the game moving and a little crazy. BUS STOP meant that everyone had to change buses (and seat partners). FIRE DRILL meant that everyone had to stand up and run around their bus in a complete circle before sitting down. ROSA PARKS meant that everyone had to move forward at least 3 rows (the front rows having to move backwards). Added to the excitement, the two chasers and two people being chased didn't have to follow the rules, and just picked someplace to sit. It guaranteed new chasers each time and added confusion to the room. Once everyone was seated, the 4 left over people still standing were told who was chasing who and on which bus and the game was off again. It was great and lasted 20 minutes and could have gone longer without getting too tired.

Next we played a game called electricity, which was a total bust. I hesitate to even mention it, but here's what I did wrong: I didn't make the rules clear enough to begin with, I didn't separate the groups effectively (one group only had 6 people, another 12), and I didn't make it fair. it was a bust, not much else to say, I'll have to keep thinking through the game in order to make it work with a group our size... but suffice it to say we should have just saved these 10 minutes for later.

After Electricity, everyone was seated in their small groups and introduced themselves to each other. My mistake here again. They needed to know who was in each group, but their small group starter was also a name identifier, and so we spoiled a little of the small group time later.

Having every group on the floor of the fellowship hall, sitting in loose circles, I presented the large group topic (a Bible story and conversation) about Nicodemus. I think this was strong, but in the middle of the talk I got off track talking about "born again." this is a great story to integrate integrity and the dark/light ideas because John 3 contains both Nicodemus' lack of integrity (coming to Jesus at night) and Jesus' strong words about light and dark, surrounding something that everyone knows (John 3:16). It was a good launching point for conversations.

I probably should have just invited the groups to stay put and continue their conversations in small group, but the darn fellowship hall is so noisy that I wanted to give them a little space. groups moved about 20-40 feet apart, still in the same room, and I distributed supplies to each group leader (which included a sharpie and a foam-core person that was to be written on).

During small groups (which all sounded pretty deep and I've received some good feedback about) each student wrote down their name and drew or wrote things that they were ashamed of (things done in the dark). I gave each group 30 minutes, which was a long time for one group, but the other groups seemed fine, then we reconvened in the youth HQ for our closing worship.

Closing worship was a 45 minute set including faith story by high school senior, confession/forgiveness by Pastor Katy, experiential moment by Katy and I involving black lights and glow paint, special music, and lots of singing. It was a good experience all together. The black light experience was a great time to say how God sees us not with the shame that we had written on the foam core, but as lights in the world (symbolized by the glow paint that we drew with on top of the foam core). Light overpowers darkness. it was a theme that was powerfully present in the black lights!

The faith story concluded the service, and it was long, but good. Our student did a fabulous job of being transparent about his own darkness and depression and the path that he walked towards the light. It was long, like 25 minutes long, which meant that we didn't finish the evening with a last song or prayer, but his talk was too good to wrap up early.

Little Acts of Love

Last night at youth group we focused on serving others with little acts of love. I was a little over planned because it's difficult to determine the length of service projects(some over planning is good, but I was WAY over planned last night). You just can't tell kids that they should stop their service project midstream, but you can't have kids waiting around staring at the ceiling if they get finished early.

To begin the evening I introduced an Ice Breaker ball (which was useful later as part of our group made their own ice breaker ball) and we welcomed kids into the evening. When I use an ice breaker ball, or question book, I generally pose the question the one individual loud enough for everyone to hear. Then I allow kids to talk with neighbors for about a minute as they discuss and shout out their answers. Then I readdress the original student and let them share their answer and why. It's a good method because everyone seems to get involved but there's also a clear pattern and leadership to the ice breaker. I also get a chance to rope in kids who are leaders and kids on the fringe because I choose who gets the ball/question next. Of course we also have a unique room and a large group where sitting in a circle isn't always helpful.

Then we played some great ice breaker games. The purpose of the games was to get our kids comfortable with each other and develop some partnerships that would endure all night. For the games last night, I was intention about creating a pair a people who would be together for the duration of the evening. I love to pair up kids with each other, and I've been thinking about this strategy for a while and I've settled on it as a primary strategy for our group for a few reasons. First, it gives them some one to connect with that they can turn to in moments of confusion, share a laugh with, and most importantly someone who they can reconnect with in future weeks. Second, it makes getting into small groups easier. Regardless of the craziness of the games, or the labor of the service project, when the kids find themselves in small groups, this partner becomes a lifeline to vulnerability that they otherwise may or may not have in our random small groups each night. And Third, games can always be heightened by adding a partner who has to cooperate with you. It's great to watch kids play ultimate frisbee, but if you tie two kids together and watch them play, they learn different things, they play different ways, and they laugh harder together.

We began with Screaming Yellow Zonkers (or elbow tag, as the kids like to call it). This is a standard game, so I upped the energy by turning it into a fast-elimination game. First, I gave each runner only 5 seconds to find their next partner while being chased, this eliminated the desire of our more athletic kids who like to just run and run, taunting the slower kids when being chased. IF someone was just running around I would start counting, ensuring that they picked a new elbow and passed on the game. I also asked each partner to sit down after someone latched onto them turning the game into an elimination game. It created obstacles on the floor (which was fun), and it ensured that every person got to be a runner. The last person running who had no elbows left to attach to, I called out and let them be the chaser on the next round. The game was a great game, lasted about 10 minutes and would have been better if we had music playing.

After the final round of elbow tag I felt kids were sufficiently mixed up, they had each changed partners several times so I announced that their current partner was going to be their partner for the rest of the evening. And then we played a game called head-foot. Organizing kids into two concentric circles with one partner standing in each circle, I instructed the circles to rotate opposite directions. This is a good way to play many games as it ensures that partners never quite know where their partner is at all times and makes the center of the circle a chaotic zone once something is called out and partners are finding each other. During this game I used the mic to call out two body parts (head-foot) and partners raced to find each other and then connect the two parts, the last partners to find each other are called out. It's a good game, but it's hard to stop, so we played for about 15-20 minutes until our final partners won.

Next we introduced 4 little acts of love that we were going to be doing all night, and allowed students (partners) to choose where they would serve. Groups had about 45 minutes to complete their project, each group had specific leaders with instructions and for groups where there was less to do I started them with a question or two to get to know each other. Finding service projects to do at 6:30 on a Sunday is difficult, but all four of these were winners:

• One group cut out preschool shapes. Our preschool is always needing volunteers to simply cut out shapes that will eventually be glued together by the kids. we had a team of 6 sitting around a table having great conversation with each other.
• One group used mod-podge to create prayer cubes. This is a left over craft from a spring family event. During that event families made prayer cubes for dinner, but for our youth we used symbols that represented the different camp-song-prayers to glue onto the cubes. This group just jumped right into the activity, which was good because there is some dry-time involved, but would have probably been better if leadership had gathered the kids and explained everything before they started. This group of 12 each made a cube, and using notecards/key rings wrote out the accompanying prayers so that we can give the cubes as gifts to other youth groups or to camps.
• One group stuffed care bags that our pastors will deliver to shut-ins in our congregation when they visit. These bags are an extension of a preschool project who made leaves/colored turkeys for the bags. Our students decorated the bags, put in special notes, and stuffed other assorted goods into the bags - like fake flowers, fall decorations, prayers... Our group of 15 really got into it and followed instructions having really good conversation about who they were serving and why.
• One group created ice-breaker balls. Using the ball we began our evening with as a template, the group used soccer balls and volley balls with sharpies to write their own ice breaker questions. I provided them with lots of ice-breaker books, which they loved to look through, and led them in a quick discussion at the beginning to help them understand what would be the best types of questions and the purpose of the balls. We made several balls, though few were finished at the end of 45 minutes. some balls were intended for Sunday school classrooms/confirmation small groups, others will be used by our group or given away as gifts to other youth groups. I think we'll use this idea again when we travel to New Orleans this summer because it was so much fun.

We were going to close our evening with a Bible study and regrouping into their small groups, but I changed my mind last second and decided that it would be more helpful to large group debrief the service projects by having each group present and talk about how they served with little acts of love.

We closed with some great worship and a few reminder announcements about summer trip to New Orleans for interested persons.

The Ah Ha Moment

Last night at youth group we were throwing around soft objects and hard questions. The evening was filled with dodgeballs, a great big skit involving rubber chickens, a play dough talk, some small group time and then a closing worship: all of which was centered around integrity.

My favorite part of the evening was the Ah Ha moment in the play dough talk. We had just improvised a skit (with complete silliness) about Daniel and were debriefing what integrity looks like. Then I passed around some play dough containers and began to explain how play dough can help us remember to have integrity.

Students were instructed NOT to open their containers, but the passing out took a little longer than expected and I could hear the ripple of surprise through the crowd as each person opened their container and realized that the play dough inside didn't match the lid on the outside. What gives? they were all asking... which was a perfect moment for the first point in the discussion: that when you have integrity, you're insides match your outsides. Ah Ha!

Other examples that I used with play dough were that play dough changes shape constantly and that it doesn't have the firmness to stand up on it's own (both examples of when we don't have integrity). The small group conversation following was quite deep as kids were asked to share times and places when their own integrity was lacking and when and why they do have strong integrity.

Building on the Daniel and the lions den theme, I also read a verse from 2 Timothy 4:16-17 about what it feels like when we're left to the lions and delivered to safety. We sang Lions by Lost and Found, and had all laid our play dough examples of integrity on the table in the midst of our worship space... what a good way to end a good evening.

Dodgeball also should be explained. I'm not a big fan of super athletic events because it alienates so many kids... but I bought some dodgeballs from Ikea (actually they are soccer pillows) which are the best dodgeballs ever. First, they don't hurt - they are pillows. Second, because they are pillows, they don't go fast or far, which means that the game can be played in close quarters with a lot more intensity. Third, they come in three different colors (black, red and blue) which I use to ramp up the game. during the games last night the three different colors imapcted you in different ways. If you got hit by a red one you switched teams, a black one meant you had to lose a body part (put an arm behind your back or stand on one leg), a blue one meant you had to do 10 pushups... just all kinds of options.

House Groups

Last night at youth group we took a risk! Despite what my marketing-brain was telling me about sustaining momentum, keeping things consistent, not upsetting the fruit basket... blah blah blah... last night we organized our first house group of the year. Instead of meeting at church in our normal way, we split the group into small groups and met all around the cities.

In a normal small group setting, you would identify a group, build a strong commitment to the group and then meet regularly for some extended period of time as you develop deep relationships with each other creating avenues for vulnerability and personal/spiritual care between each other. The end result of that small group process is a group of people who feel closer with each other, and can share openly about God while they navigate the duress of life. Last night was our first toe in the water towards this end. For a change (at least for me) it wasn't about the number of kids, or the energy of the group, or even about control. It was about breaking a huge group of teenagers down into groups for an evening to deepen already existing friendships, hold sacred time spent together, and literally invite each other into their lives. And it was bumpy but great!

What we did:
We broke our group of about 50-60 into small groups based on grade level in school (freshman - seniors). One person from each group was designated as the house host, charged with a welcome environment and some snacks, then our regular leaders were dispatched to each house to serve as leaders. I provided a long-detailed lesson plan which included ice breakers, Bible study, craft/activity, small group picture challenge, and three options to close with (worship books, discussion topics, and additional games). We also communicated like crazy! Facebook invites, church announcements, postcards handed out weeks in advance, a mailing the week before, and an email a few days ahead of time too.

How it worked:

• Across the board, it was good and I'll be excited to do it again. It felt strange for me, but I think the kids thought it was more fun than weird...
• Communication was excellent, there was no one who showed up at church looking for directions (at least not for the first 15 minutes while I was waiting there) and no one took the extra postcards that I had taped to the church doors in case they showed up late.
• Games were good, but ours lasted much longer than intended. perhaps this is because in a house things are a little more relaxed, perhaps because I wasn't leading the directions, forcing everyone to behave and pay attention.
• Bible Study was mixed. the group I attended had a great conversation, mostly branching off the Bible study topic and talking a lot about how to behave towards others (Colossians 4:5). It seems that other groups had a more difficult time connecting the dots and drawing kids out into discussion. This isn't a particularly easy passage to talk about, made more complicated by the lack of Bibles present in the groups
• Activity? what activity? we skipped this one because we didn't have time for it, and I think many other groups were in the same boat. Good to have an extra thing to go to just in case though.
• The picture challenge was great. Horsmaning was a lot of fun, it's relatively new and most students hadn't heard about it but were excited to try it. The pictures will help propel the house groups back to youth group next week.

What I learned:

• Allergies! yikes. though we definitely handled the food allergies, one house group had a major issue with an allergic kid because of the dogs/cats... didn't think about that one ahead of time. They suffered through, but next time we'll have a better plan!
• Leadership! One major risk in this evening was that I was giving control over to the leaders to lead. There would be no youth director pulling us together if the game bombed, or any direction changes if our group was not the expected size or dynamic. I think it became an excellent opportunity for leaders to step up and I think the outcome of our house group evening will be better connections in weeks to come between leaders and kids. It was also difficult for me to do my usual recruiting because I wasn't going to be at every house.
• Preparation! in preparing for the evening I made a huge plan including all kinds of wrinkles, options, and ideas. unfortunately that meant collecting tons of resources ahead of time. and to make matters worse, I had to collect 4 of everything (one for each house group). Next time I'll be mindful to keep it simple and allow the leaders to plan ahead for their own creative inputs.