Last night at youth group (actually two nights ago) we closed our year with a bonfire during our youth group time. The original plan was to meet at an adult leader's house for the bonfire, such is the tradition of this group, but the week of rain preceding our bonfire night turned the backyard into more of a swamp than a yard. Instead we met at church during our regular time and used the park and the yard at church to stage our bonfire.
This was the highest attended event all year! 64 of us in total and even though we changed plans the day of the bonfire (announcemnet in church, FB update/message, and a few texts) not a single person accidentally showed up at the leader's house, everyone met at church. That is a true testiment to the technological age that we live in!
In years past this bonfire has been kind of a senior sendoff, a goodbye for the leaders, and mostly a hangout time for students. I tried to keep a similar feel to the evening, but I wanted to change a little of the dynamic so that it was consistent with a welcoming group that has grown rather than a small intimate group as it has been in the past. Simply from a logistics stand point, we couldn't pull all the seniors to the front of the group and have the group give them individual comments and well wishes. It would have been awkward for the handful of kids who had come to youth group for the first time, and the seniors receiving generic comments from strangers. I think what we did was better!
We started the evening with grilled food and didn't meet in the basement as usual. Instead we took advantage of one of our main-level commons areas. I think this very simple change helped our kids feel like the evening maintained some of the typical bonfire feel. From dinner we headed outside to the park for a traditional game of ultimate Frisbee. With 64 people, there was no chance of playing a unified game, so I introduced four options: a competitive game of ultimate, a relaxed game of ultimate, a game of soccer, and a chance to help build the bonfire and hang out. Then I spaced out the leaders and let the kids sort themselves out into groups. It worked beautifully and I received lots of comments afterwards about how thankful kids were to have some choice. Our church is perched on the edge of a huge park, so we had plenty of space to spread out and all still be in eye-sight of each other.
After about 35 minutes of games we all gathered at the bonfire, using chairs from inside. (this is huge. kids notoriously forget to bring things like lawn chairs to bonfires so in years past we've carted a few dozen folding chairs and tables out to the adult leaders house, which is a major pain! this allowed us to use the chairs from inside and instantly convert our bonfire area into a comfortable area.) There were marshmallows available, and we started by singing some songs... but the time grew intense pretty rapidly and there weren't many marshmallows roasted. After an opening song, I introduced our reflective part of the evening called Pebble in a Pond.
Pebble in a Pond is definitely not my creation, but I've added a lot of words and intentionality to it, and this past year, it has become a tool that I've used during confirmation and high school retreats to focus and reflect a deep experience. I'll continue to use the exercise this summer following our mission trip and throughout the next years as well.
To setup, I place a large clear bowl on a table where everyone in the group can see. Then I fill a basket with smooth stones, and place it near the bowl. As I introduce Pebble in a Pond I explain that there are three things that can happen when you place a pebble in a pond: splash, ripple, and fill. And then depending on context I explain and give a few examples of what these actions can mean to our group. For youth group last night, we were giving seniors a chance to reflect on their years connected to youth ministry, so they could talk about a splash in their life - like a relationship, event or experience that opened their eyes in a new way. OR they could talk about a ripple in their life that they hope will continue to carry with them throughout their life or into the next chapter of their life. OR they could talk about a way that they had been filled spiritually or emotionally over the last several years. Then I usually place the first stones into the pond and sit down, inviting students to come forward one at a time to drop a pebble in the pond and reflect.
Every one of our seniors spoke, first introducing themselves and sharing what they planned to do next in their life and each reflected about something different in their life and how they had connected here. Twice during the reflections, I paused the group to lead the group in song, and then allowed them to continue. Once all the seniors had spoken, I invited the rest of our group to come forward and share. I'm often surprised to see who feels called to the pond to share their thoughts and what the decide to share. Three of our very new students came to the pond to share, a few of our students shared that this year had been so difficult that the only thing that kept them going was this group and the relationships they had formed. Other students pointed out students or leaders in particular who had made a difference to them. For me, it filled me up! After a weary week and a lot of changes for this youth ministry in the last year, this was one moment where things seemed to come together. Amen!
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